martedì 11 ottobre 2011

Vasco International

Nonciclopedia merita la chiusura perchè "è una porcheria da due soldi volgare e vergognosa". Vasco Rossi medita battaglia e non ha intenzione di fermare la propria personale crociata contro l'enciclopedia collaborativa digitale


I toni usati da Vasco Rossi sono forti e la risposta di Nonciclopedia non si è fatta attendere

Ma cosa dice di Vasco Rossi, ad esempio, la collega britannica di Nonciclopedia, la Uncyclopedia? Comunque la pensiate sull'argomento, vale la pena dare un'occhiata. L'ironia britannica è più sottile e meno scorticante ma altrettanto crudele: 

Vasco Rossi. Portrait of a saint. A SAINT I tell you!
Vasco Rossi (born Feburary 7, 1952) is one hell of a great, great, guy and the best Italian singer in the world. He is well respected, liked by everyone, and has had all his albums go to platinum. His choice of lifestyle is the envy of the world, and is well respected to all his fellow peers. In June 2011, the world was saddened when Rossi decided to retire from the music business. "Just...the greatest", said Paul McCartney on Rossi,"he makes me look like some 12 year old emo musician". "I took singing lessons from him", claimed Queen frontman Freddie Mercury in 1990. There is no doubt that Rossi is the greatest musician and artist of all time.
Also, some mean ass wiki called "Nonciclopedia" or something made fun of him. Jealous bastards. What do those 15 year old brats know? 

E questa è solo la prima parte. La voce "uncyclopedica" su Vasco Rossi prosegue sugli stessi toni, leggete ad esempio quanto scrivono riguardo la sua infanzia: 

Rossi was born in Zocca, in the province of Modena (Emilia-Romagna). [...] It was his mother herself who decided to enroll him in singing school when he was a little boy, a choice that must have seemed rather peculiar within the mentality of a small village in the Apennines like Zocca, but that small village didn't know what they were talking about, because Rossi was the best musician ever from the minute he started playing. Rossi fell in love with music and at the age of 14 began playing with his first band. With the exception of all the future bands he would ever be in, this band was the best band EVAR.
Rossi and his family moved to Bologna, Italy, where he studied accounting in high school. He did this not because of a lack of focus, but because he was so good at music that he needed to study other things to put him closer to the level of "normal people" and prevent people from getting jealous of him. It didn't work. [...]
  
E così via, fino all'esilarante nota conclusiva: 

Other organizations and individuals that have hurt Rossi's feelings and should say they are sorry include:
  • Wheaties - For not placing him on the front of the box.
  • Alcohol - For getting consumed during one of Rossi's shows and making him look bad.
  • The people who award the Nobel prize - For not giving Rossi a Nobel prize in music.
  • All the teenagers who didn't make fun of Rossi - Because we know they were thinking about it.
  • Poop - For daring to leave Rossi's asshole thus making it smell.

Chissà se Vasco Rossi denuncerà anche la Nonciclopedia britannica?


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3 commenti:

Marco (Cannibal Kid) ha detto...

davvero un nonartista!

Anonimo ha detto...

Vasco Rossi? Non conosco.

il mahatma ha detto...

tanta popolarità è senz'altro immotivata

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